Life's Laundry: Sometimes

I know that life is an ebb and flow kind of setup and I totally believe in a Higher Power so that gives me hope.....but sometimes life just hurts and we an't figure out why things happen in the patterns and groups and order that they do. My life has been such a wonderful ride the past few weeks. Everything was falling into place and my business was skyrocketing and my debt was lowering and I was walking in sunshine. I know too, that life can turn on a dime and nothing is a guarantee. I also know that bad things don't last forever. I know that while they do last - they hurt.

Today I learned that a friend of mine has terminal lung cancer. Last week, she had a cough and they thought a touch of pneumonia. Yesterday they told her that it's all over her lungs, in her liver and in her spine. It is inoperable.

Yesterday, another friend of mine finally responded to my repeated request for explanation as to what was happening to our friendship and man, she blew me away with her reply after making me wait 4 weeks and almost beg to know what was wrong. What is it with people who expect nothing less than perfection from other people but yet aren't able to clarify what the expectations are and then when they get disappointed, they just shut the door and tell people to fuck off? I'm amazed that people can consider others "disposable" and just keep moving on. It explains a lot on why this person doesn't have many friends and even though I am terrible grieved at the apparent ending of our friendship and the way I have been discarded and rejected, I am more grieved that she would think so little of our friendship to not be honest with me or be able to talk to me about what was/is bothering her. How can a person be happy without relationships in her life? What disappointment it must be to spend all your time keeping track of your comings and goings with others and then all the energy that it takes to put into testing them on how well they will be such a good friend to you. Ack! Enough of that shit. I know I'm angry about it but I am hurt too. I do wish her well and hope that perhaps there will be some one out there who can be the kind of friend she needs. I doubt it though.

My friend with the brain tumor continues to hold her own. There is only about a 15% regrowth with the tumor and that is excellent news to be 6 months out of surgery/diagnosis. What we thought was going to be so terrible and such a short time (really, there as no way to know what would happen and there still isn't) we know we have a bit more time than we originally thought and I continue to marvel at her strength and courage and how much I love her.

My father's surgery was apparently a great success. He isn't experiencing any pain and now we just need his bladder to begin working. The last time, he had some problems post operatively and wound up having a staph infection in his kidneys and almost died. No exaggeration. I told him this morning when I talked to him that I don't want any repeats of last year. He can't go home till he is peeing normally. He agrees.

Indy is wonderful - but I have only watched the outside through the glass windows of sky-walks and floor to ceiling windows. Being able to move from one city block to another through sky-walks is kinda cool. I'm back in the room resting (yes, bloggin is resting) and when I finish this post I'm going to take a nap.

Biggest Sister called from school and she has pneumonia. Evidently, she has inherited her mother's propensity for a cold to quickly turn to asthmatic bronchitis and pass go pretty quickly and turn bad. She knew she should have gone to the Dr last week but kept trying to self medicate and kept getting worse. So now she is drugged and in bed for the weekend.

Today, my cough is much better and my breathing is not labored anymore. MusicMan is over at the stadium watching bands back to back. He is so in his element here and watching him be in that place is one of the greatest joys that I experience as his wife and friend.

I'm a bit bummed about not having the camera cord.

But I'm WAY MORE excited that in a few hours, Jinky will be here for us to see each other and spend some time together.

And for the record Jinky, it has been since November 2003 that we saw each other. That is the last time that we were in town for the BOA Grand Nationals. Big Brother was only 18 months old and Little Sister was an egg waiting to be fertilized 90 days later. And NO, I don't have another egg in waiting :)

Comments

Something I am trying to learn is that all we can do is take of our own s**t and others are responsible for theirs. Sometimes, I manage. Maybe this can help with that weirdo ex-friend. Sorry about all the surrounding sickness.

Posted by: Anvilcloud | November 14, 2008 at 04:40 PM