Life's Laundry

Post Diagnosis

I want to congratulate Charlie for his team's win on Saturday.  It was a long time coming and I am guessing that you were very, very happy yesterday afternoon when that final buzzer sounded in Athens.  I was dissapointed but not surprised.  MusicMan and I predicted that Tech would beat UGA.

Big Sister is home and resting.  I took her back to the Dr yesterday morning and apparent'y she was not doing too well.  Two shots and some mouth wash with lidocaine and anti-inflammatories later - she was feeling better.  She went home yesterday.

I feel out of sorts today because my regular schedule has been interrupted for worthy efforts in the past week and I'm a bit bummed out that I'm back to a drawing board tomorrow that I don't really have the crayons for.

Today I realize that not every single day is a great day and that sometimes we need a bit of downtime for renewal and I'm thankful that I knew that in advance and decided to take care of myself while taking care of everyone else.

Diagnosis

Everyone here in this house has some kind of diagnosis....

MusicMan, Big Brother and Little Sister have the lingering cough and congestion that has plagued almost everyone breathing these past few weeks. MusicMan has edgy-itis.  I encouraged him to go work in the yard where he could affect change on something he can control.

Big Sister has strep throat - oh, how I hate it that she had been so looking forward to this visit with us/me for weeks and came here only to be couch bound with a fever and a throat so sore she can't swallow.  I'm thankful that I have a neighbor who is a Dr and who is willing to make house calls free of charge.  I just wish that she were more well now than she is.

Biggest Sister has got "I'm focusing on who is going to win the game tomorrow and when am I leaving to go back to my apartment?" - itis. It must be so difficult to be here with us after being on her own in her own privacy of her own apartment at her own pace and at her own whims.  When she comes here, both Little Sister and Big Brother compete for her attention and they are relentless.  She never tried to keep secret that she isn't the biggest fan of this house and I think it just must really be a chore for her to come here for long periods of time (like 3 days or more).  I have enjoyed her when she was here though.

And Me?  Today I've got the mullygrubs.  It suppose it might be the letdown of the whirlwind of the past 3 days or the taking care of so many people, or MusicMan taking my tone of voice in the wrong way and hurting my feelings or the fact that I'm just tired. 

The two younger kids are gone to MusicMan's parent's house until tomorrow night.  Biggest Sister will go home to Athens tonight.  Big Sister will go home tomorrow (providing she is well enough to drive - she sure couldn't do it today if she had to) and I will be sitting in a quiet house with my husband and my dog and a glass of wine and a flat screened TV that is paid for and provides a good view of the game.

Sunday is my first day to teach PreK Sunday School and I am so looking forward to this 5 week assignment. 

I suppose next week I will venture into the dark world of the upstairs closet and pull out the holiday decorations.  That won't work unless I can get rid of my diagnosis.

Too Busy To Post

All of my children, both young and old, are here with me in our home.  Only a momma can appreciate the incredible warmth that I am experiencing deep in my soul by this event.

The time is ticking by each and every second and I'm relishing in all the sensory and emotional experiences while I can.  In a few days, it will all be over.

My dad is doing very well after his surgery.

The MRI indicated that I've got torn cartilage behind the kneecap and the Dr wants to see if he can fix it with therapy.  I agreed that I would try it for 4 weeks and if no noticeable improvement - then I get it scoped and be done with it.  I can't afford to have a leg that doesn't work or one that gives out on me at any time.  I have a business and 2 young kids.  He agreed.  I really want this therapy to work.

Today, our family gathered at the portrait place and we had family pictures made.  OMG!  They turned out so good.  I can't wait to get them and share them with you all.

Life would be perfect if I could just shed this hacking, bothersome cough.  Ack!

Happy Thanksgiving blogging friends :)

There's Nothing That Can Top That

I'm on the road again today.

Here's some thoughts that are rolling around my head from the past week.

Indy was incredible in so many ways.  I got to see Jinky and spend some time with her and that was good for me.  The other thing that was good for me was witnessing the pride and excitement on my husband's face as his client performed (multiple times) and then watching the crowds around us go on and on about "the music."  Very few people sitting around us in that crowd of 35 thousand knew that they were sitting near the man who wrote what the band was playing.  I heard all kinds of comments from people and my heart almost swelled out of my chest for my husband. Those kinds of things are such a good validation for his talent.  I know that he's good but I'm supposed to believe that, I'm his wife.  When we get in an environment like that, and there are people who are qualified to make that kind of judgement, and they do - it's the best kind of feeling.

My joy came from watching MusicMan hear the comments, see the band perform, and be on the receiving end of accolades from the Director and then having the Director tell him that he "hopes you'll be able to write for us next year, cause we need you man."

I was so pooped from the excitement on Saturday that I was dead to the world by 9 PM.  MusicMan said he watched TV until about 10 before his body and mind calmed down enough to sleep.  I awoke at 4:22 AM for the day.  We left the hotel around 6:15 AM.  The air was very cold and very dry.  I saw snowflakes flying through the air and spent the next 3 or 4 minutes trying to help MusicMan "see" them too.  His eyesight isn't what it used to be.  I didn't necessarily care about it snowing but Big Brother had asked me if it was going to snow where I was going and I had told him "maybe".  It really was a big deal for him that I see snow while I was on my trip. Now I would be able to tell him that I saw snow - although it wasn't enough to accumulate on the ground.

We arrived to the children at the grandparent's house about 2 PM.  We did make a few stops on the way that delayed our return but by 3:30, we were all in our house, snuggling on the couch, a raging fire in the fireplace, taking turns exchanging stories of the previous four days.  There's a lot of nice places - but there's nothing like home.

Monday morning bright and early - I left for my parent's house.  My father had two herniated disk in his lumbar repaired last week and my mom had to go out of town for her work and didn't want to leave him alone postoperatively.  I arrived here on Monday after lunch to find my father sitting in his wood shop going through magazines.  He is pain free for the first time in over 8 months.  I didn't expect to find him in such a mobile state but I am sure glad to have found him like I did.  It was good for us to be together.  I prepared his meals and joked with him and on Tuesday morning, he announced that he was going to "take a ride to Lowe's."  The Dr told him he could drive when he was ready and I guessed that he was ready.  Upon his return, he announced that the trip went fine and he doesn't have any problem driving.  I made some deliveries on Tuesday to some loyal clients that I still have in Savannah and then took care of some business with Big Sister on Tuesday afternoon.  I fixed dinner for my sister and her girls along with my daddy and me and we laughed and had a good time over last night's meal.

This morning, I'm waking up and in an hour or two, I'll leave for home.  My dad doesn't need constant care and I want to get a head start so that I can be home with MusicMan for a while before my MRI on my knee this afternoon.

I wish I could say that I won't travel again for a while but I train new consultants in Atlanta on Saturday - then..... I will be home for a while.

Next week is Thanksgiving.  All my children will be with me in our home.  There's nothing that can top that.

Thought For The Day

I'm taking a class to hone my leadership skills to lead my group through the most phenomenal holiday season that our unit has ever seen.  I'm pumped because our unit is already on the road to success beyond our first marker.

Here's a quote that I've been chewing on for a few days and really thinking about how my life reflects the concepts within the quote.  I wanted to share it with you in hopes that it would stir up great things and help to move you along as it has me.

Average people hate Monday, refer to Wednesday as "hump day" and "Thank God it's Friday."  On the other end of the spectrum, champions enjoy all of it.  The middle-class consciousness lives for the weekend; the world class lives in the now!  Champions use their belief in themselves and their ferocious ambition to create the work and home life they desire; so there is no need to wish time away.  This is one of the biggest secrets of the high achievers.  Average people search for security, while champions discover their life's vision and purpose.  When they discover the work they love so much they would do it for free, they embark on the journey of what Dr. Abraham Maslow referred to as "self actualization," or becoming all one can be.  This is the true secret of their success.  They are using time, rather than allowing time to use them.  In other words, the great ones understand that no matter how successful they become, time is the one resource they cannot create or purchase.  Therefore, time becomes their most valued prize.  Since they love their work and home lives, they tend to outwork, outplay, and (some would say) outlive their middle-class counterparts.  The great ones know that no one can truly manage time, yet everyone can manage activities.  With that in mind, the great ones surround themselves with activities they love so they are sure to get the most fulfillment out of the time they have. ~ Steve Siebold

You Know You Have A Good Friend When....

Last night with Jinky was incredibly beneficial for me in so many ways.

We laughed and strolled the mall as much as my knee would allow and we shopped a bit for the sake of it.  Then we had dinner and talked about things near and dear to our hearts.  I had forgotten how warm I feel inside when I'm with Jinky and it all came rushing back to me as if the last 4 years were the blink of an eye. 

It was November 2003 when we were last here in Indy for the Grand Nationals.  Jinky was just a few weeks away from her delivery and Big Brother was only 18 months old.  I realized last night that Jinky and I have the kind of friendship that transcends time and that no matter how long it had been since we had seen each other, it had not been too long. Who knew that 7 or 8 years ago on an AOL message board that I would meet women who would change my life forever?  Who knew that as life changed and we all grew, that I would still be in contact with several  of them and we'd have nurturing friendships that lasted?

After we laughed over stories about our kids during dinner, we came back up to my hotel room and had some spa treatments while we listened to some soothing sounds.  Twenty  minutes must have trickled by while we relaxed and I just kept thinking that I was so blessed to have a friend like her that I could just relax and be myself with.  Not one sound or word was muttered during that time. I imagined that time was standing still. I felt so trusted and accepted for just who I am. It was such a sharp contrast to the friendship that was abruptly ended Thursday evening by email.

If you have a friend like that..... (the one which you can spend time with and not even talk or one who you really value), make sure they know how much you appreciate them.

Jinky, I think part of the reason that we enjoy each other so much is because we know how valuable ourtime together is.  I hope you know how special you are to me and how much I appreciate that you are a giver who is able to receive and not a taker who isn't able to give.

Sometimes - Life Hurts

I know that life is an ebb and flow kind of setup and I totally believe in a Higher Power so that gives me hope.....but sometimes life just hurts and we an't figure out why things happen in the patterns and groups and order that they do.  My life has been such a wonderful ride the past few weeks.  Everything was falling into place and my business was skyrocketing and my debt was lowering and I was walking in sunshine.  I know too, that life can turn on a dime and nothing is a guarantee.  I also know that bad things don't last forever.  I know that while they do last - they hurt.

Today I learned that a friend of mine has terminal lung cancer. Last week, she had a cough and they thought a touch of pneumonia.  Yesterday they told her that it's all over her lungs, in her liver and in her spine. It is inoperable.

Yesterday, another friend of mine finally responded to my repeated request for explanation as to what was happening to our friendship and man, she blew me away with her reply after making me wait 4 weeks and almost beg to know what was wrong.  What is it with people who expect nothing less than perfection from other people but yet aren't able to clarify what the expectations are and then when they get disappointed, they just shut the door and tell people to fuck off?  I'm amazed that people can consider others "disposable" and just keep moving on.  It explains a lot on why this person doesn't have many friends and even though I am terrible grieved at the apparent ending of our friendship and the way I have been discarded and rejected, I am more grieved that she would think so little of our friendship to not be honest with me or be able to talk to me about what was/is bothering her.  How can a person be happy without relationships in her life?  What disappointment it must be to spend all your time keeping track of your comings and goings with others and then all the energy that it takes to put into testing them on how well they will be such a good friend to you. Ack!  Enough of that shit.  I know I'm angry about it but I am hurt too. I do wish her well and hope that perhaps there will be some one out there who can be the kind of friend she needs.  I doubt it though.

My friend with the brain tumor continues to hold her own.  There is only about a 15% regrowth with the tumor and that is excellent news to be 6 months out of surgery/diagnosis.  What we thought was going to be so terrible and such a short time (really, there as no way to know what would happen and there still isn't) we know we have a bit more time than we originally thought and I continue to marvel at her strength and courage and how much I love her.

My father's surgery was apparently a great success.  He isn't experiencing any pain and now we just need his bladder to begin working.  The last time, he had some problems post operatively and wound up having a staph infection in his kidneys and almost died.  No exaggeration.  I told him this morning when I talked to him that I don't want any repeats of last year.  He can't go home till he is peeing normally.  He agrees.

Indy is wonderful - but I have only watched the outside through the glass windows of sky-walks and floor to ceiling windows.  Being able to move from one city block to another through sky-walks is kinda cool.  I'm back in the room resting (yes, bloggin is resting) and when I finish this post I'm going to take a nap.

Biggest Sister called from school and she has pneumonia.  Evidently, she has inherited her mother's propensity for a cold to quickly turn to asthmatic bronchitis and pass go pretty quickly and turn bad.  She knew she should have gone to the Dr last week but kept trying to self medicate and kept getting worse.  So now she is drugged and in bed for the weekend.

Today, my cough is much better and my breathing is not labored anymore.  MusicMan is over at the stadium watching bands back to back.  He is so in his element here and watching him be in that place is one of the greatest joys that I experience as his wife and friend.

I'm a bit bummed about not having the camera cord.

But I'm WAY MORE excited that in a few hours, Jinky will be here for us to see each other and spend some time together.

And for the record Jinky, it has been since November 2003 that we saw each other.  That is the last time that we were in town for the BOA Grand Nationals.  Big Brother was only 18 months old and Little Sister was an egg waiting to be fertilized 90 days later.  And NO, I don't have another egg in waiting :)

Make It A Great Day

Our trip here was uneventful - but if something hadhappened, I probably missed it since I slept 90% of the trip. We arrived a little after 7PM last night and then I slept again for the night. We are just a few blocks from the stadium.

This morning I feel rested and ready to have some fun and enjoy myself.

As boring as it sounds, the next things on my "To Do List" include showering, and getting ready for the day, something to eat (or drink because there's a $t@rbucks downstairs) and then figuring out what MusicMan and I are going to do until he has to report with the group.

This afternoon - I'm spending the evening with Jinky Bean and
I
CANT
WAIT.

It's been over 4 and a half years since I've seen her.

Today, I'll take it easy and enjoy myself so that I won't be too tired when it comes time to spend with her.  The air is crisp and cold and just what I need to clear my head from some recent things that rocked my world (not in a good way but perhaps it will be good when I finally let it go).

Ok  everybody, make it a great day! I know I will.

PS.  I will not be able to share pictures until I get home because someone forgot to include the camera cord with all the other electronics that we brought.

I Know....

It's been several days since I last posted and it's time for a brief update.  I'm abbreviating for time and simplicity.

1) Leg is slightly better.  Still on meds. MRI on 19th.

2) Poison Ivy is slightly better.  In fact, even after getting some Rx topical treatment from my dermatologist neighbor, it is flaky now instead of bubbly and blistery.

3) Apparently, the inflammation from the PI has spread to my bronchial tubes and created enough irritation to mimic asthma.  I'm back on the inhaler and a Zpack incase it is bacteria and to prevent infection from the open skin on my arms/throat. I've had some breathing treatments today and I'm awaiting the difference that I was promised.

4) I was in south Ga for yesterday to spa another school.  It was so successful that I received 4 leads from the administration of other administrators in other counties and I will be following up with them within the next 2 weeks.

5) I am desperately trying to rest and get well.  MusicMan is creating a high level of resistance to traveling to Indy on Thursday if I don't improve with my breathing. Please send me some good vibes and prayers because I reallywant this trip to take place for several reasons.  He deserves this trip as the recognition that his client wants him to receive and the business that this will mean for him in the coming 24 months with his music business.  The other reason is purely selfish and involves no monetary or professional gain.....I want to see JinkyBean.  Period.

6) I met with several women/consultants from the area that I'm developing in south Ga on Sunday evening.  it was so fun and exciting to hear their good news, witness their growth that has occurred in such a short time and to be part of the positive energy that they are harnessing.  Congratulations to all of them.  We are all growing together.

7) My father is having surgery on Thursday to repair 2 herniated disk in his lumbar spine.  He celebrated his 78th birthday on this past Saturday.  He says that he does not want me to come there - he wants me to go to Indy and wait for my mother to phone me after the surgery. 

8) My mom called me last week and asked me to come on Monday the 17th. Apparently, she paid for a training class for her job and the fee was non refundable.  It is over $1500 and it is in Chicago.  She needs to go. My dad will be 4 days post-op and she will be totally spent (I know it - she takes everything personally and gets drained pretty quick where my dad is concerned) She asked me if I would come to stay with him.  I said yes.  So we arrive home from Indy on Sunday evening.  I spend a few hours of sleep here and leave before the crack of dawn on Monday morning to drive to my parent's house. I will be there until Wednesday when I leave to drive home for my MRI at 7:30 PM.

9) I hope that Big Sister will stay with me while I'm at my parent's house. I really crave some private time with her.

10) I have a wonderfully full schedule until the end of the year.  Yippie!!!

Take care, everyone.

Part of the Solution

I know that I'm one of literally millions of people who received the following email last night.  It doesn't matter.  I was part of making a difference.

I'm looking ahead to what is next and what difference I can continue to make....because you are either part of the solution - or you are part of the problem.

Dora --

I'm about to head to Grant Park to talk to everyone gathered there,
but I wanted to write to you first.

We just made history.

And I don't want you to forget how we did it.

You made history every single day during this campaign -- every day you knocked on doors, made a donation, or talked to your family, friends, and neighbors about why you believe it's time for change.

I want to thank all of you who gave your time, talent, and passion to this campaign.

We have a lot of work to do to get our country back on track, and I'll be in touch soon about what comes next.

But I want to be very clear about one thing...

All of this happened because of you.

Thank you,

Barack