Outside My Window Before Light

hmm...

I've been awake and meditating for a few hours.  Something in a dream woke me and after nursing (K) back to sleep I quietly slid out of bed and came into the den where I found my way to some devotional sites that I visit.

For the past 30 minutes or so, I've been sitting here in my chair, knees drawn up to my chest, nightgown pulled down to cover my legs and feet, and my arms hugging my body.  I've been hugging my legs for the entire time, except when I paused to wipe the tears from my eyes or blow my nose.

Just a few minutes ago, I paused long enough to contemplate the dense fog outside our sunroom.  Thick and heavy, I can barely view (J)s tree that we planted to celebrate his birth.  It grows not 20 feet from our door but I can barely make out the branches through the thick fog that has settled over this valley.

What brought the tears?  What moved me so much that for the past half hour I've been reduced to a leaking boob of emotions?  What touched and blessed my soul so much that I've been dwelling on such thoughts as I have?

This.

Go on, read it.  Well - read it when you have some time to really read it and digest it.  You'll need to take a bite, chew it, taste it and roll it around. Sit and think about what this woman has to say, then read it again and again..... if you must. The words of this woman and her feelings are not to be skimmed over, not to be read half way, and certainly not to be taken lightly.

I was introduced to Daydreams by another blog that I frequently visit called Father Jake Stops The World in a post appropriately titled, Will You Listen?

After crying over the sadness and overwhelming emotion that I feel when I think about how, in many and various ways, we are missing the message of Christ and how we are unwilling to "listen" when it comes to letting go of opinions and beliefs that we have clung to for so long about what is 'right and godly" and when the tears finally began to dry from my cheeks....

I looked out into the fog and noticed  what may be more than 30 robins bouncing and bopping all over the yard around (J)s tree.  The fog is beginning to burn off and daylight is ushering in a new day. A new voice of hope, proclaiming the day and all the possibilities that exist for me, for my life and those I love. And for you too.

How does all this relate?

Our dogmatic, long held beliefs and stubbornness are like the fog.  It clouds our judgment and prohibits us from the one thing that Christ called us to do - Love Our Neighbor.  Only through the power of The Holy Spirit, through its breath of forgiveness, compassion and redemption, are we able to have the fog rolled away. 

And the birds? 

When the fog was so heavy and thick, I couldn't see them.  They were still there.  Hidden by the thickness of the fog but still working away to gather bugs and worms and seeds from the feed that we scattered a few days ago.  Doing their job.  Like those of us who are quietly working away, demonstrating that there is a different kind of "christianity" out there other than the conservative fundamentalist christian movement that would have us all believe that God stands over us with a huge iron ruler, ready to smack us into hell because we are sinful and don't fit into a certain criteria of the perfect christian.

Sometimes the fog covers up those people who live to be instruments of grace. Sometimes we can't see them but they are there. Even when the fog makes it impossible to see or think.

May any fog that you are experiencing in your physical, mental, emotional or spiritual life be lifted so that you can see the light of day.

Comments

[Anvilcloud]

Thanks for the daydreams link. For some strange reason, it seems relevant to me.

Our robins aren't here yet, but like the daffodils, they soon will be.

[Cuppa]

Hi WL
Thanks for the link. I too shed tears when I went over to read Will you listen?

I could see the light shining through the fog - thanks for pointing me to it.

[Dale]

Amen, Sister. Amen .
A great, blinding fog still covers my heart in the matter of my ex and daughter and son. I pray for it to lift and be gone, along with my pride. One day perhaps ...

Well done. Nicely written.

[Cuppa]

Hi WL
Me again. My eyes must have been rather teary and foggy the other day because I got the blog info mixed up. It was "At School" on the Daydreams site that made me cry. I thought it was called Will you listen!! I went back to read it today and was quite surprised to see that it wasn't called Will You Listen!!!! Needless to say this has been an up-side-down week.