They say death comes in threes and for most of my adult life, that has proven to be true. When I was in Savannah for my friend's funeral, I read of another woman's death that I used to know. We attended church for 11 years together. That was two people who had died. My mind was always entertaining the notion of who would fill that third spot. For two weeks, I had nightmares that it would be MusicMan or his parents or my father.
This morning, Big Sister called to tell me that my Ex-FIL had died last night. He's the one that I wrote about briefly in The Bouncer series last summer and fall.
I tried to comfort and support her in her time of confusion - happy that he's dead because of the things he had done to her and people she loved and sad because no matter what, it's still loss and at one time she did love him before she discovered truths about him. The words I was speaking to her were reminders to my self.
At one time, I loved The Bouncer and believed that we were to spend the rest of our lives together. Grieving means that you let go of beliefs and expectations and no matter what ushers that change in, we still have to let go.
Today I'm relieved.....relieved that the man no longer walks the earth, relieved that I don't have anything to do with him anymore and relieved that it's not MusicMan, his parents or mine.