My friend is being moved to a hospice facility today. Her organs are shutting down and she has decided no more surgeries or heroic medical measures. She has a DNR and all her legal matters are settled and clear. No one knows how much time is left but I think we are talking about a matter of a few weeks or maybe even days.
Everytime I think I have cried a million tears, there seems to come more. I'm not afraid of the tears but sometimes I wish there weren't so many. I know in my heart that she is being healed through death but letting go just sucks. I can't shut down my mind and yet at the same time I am being pulled in so many different directions with events and happening in my family's life and the life of my business right now that I am thankful (on one hand) for the requirements of doing these things and on the other hand, I just want the world to stop and let me off.
I was scheduled to go there this weekend and stay for 4 or 5 days to be with her and to tend to some business appointments. After I talk with her mom or the hospice nurse this morning, I may change my departure.
Her life, her friendship and her self have been one of the most incredible and lasting gifts that I have ever been the recipient of. And even though those who love her are filled with incredible grief, there are many of us who know that there is a power greater than us and even greater than the love we feel for her and are so thankful that we got to be a part of the ride.