Why in the world does my body react to steriods like it does?
I couldn't find deep rest if it slapped me in the face. Several times today, I've tried to sleep and it just won't come - I feel the exhaustion but can't find the sleep. The good news is that I've been able to do my relaxation techniques that I teach so many of my clients. That has helped tremendously.
The assistant called this morning as if nothing had transpired at all. I asked her to show up on Tuesday at 9 AM. I simply did not feel equipped mentally or emotionaly or physically to deal with the converstation today. I wanted to play with my African Violets and escape a bit.
Tonight, I am ready with my small list and evaluation. I'll put my cards on the table in a non threatening but forward way and she will be in a position of choice - she can get in line with my expectations or she will need to move on. Period.
I'm not angry today but I am resolute that I will not go through another several months of what I went through before. I will nip it in the bud and move on.
I think the thing that concerns me the most is that I do not want to be perceived as someone who is unsympathetic or uncaring but at the same time, I'm not the least bit interested in the drama of her family (whether she creates it or attracts it or sustains it) and I don't want to spend my time listening to her recount that drama. She is my employee. We can be friends. We have to be employee and employer first and foremost.
I hope I'll be smooth and clear and whatever else I need to be come tomorrow. I feel like my business is counting on it. I know my mind is. I'll let you know how it goes.