I had never shopped before with "someone else's dollar" and it was not only exciting but I felt powerful in a way that I had not felt before. The newness to this experience and the purpose for the trip both had me intoxicated with emotions that I had never experienced. I reasoned in my mind that the FIL was probably embarrassed and apologetic for being so ugly to me when he called me a wench that this probably was his way to make things nice again. I learned from this situation that there is never a free lunch - someone always pays. In this case, my FIL paid monetarily and I paid emotionally.
He gave me cash. I had never held two or three hundred in my hands before and I was giddy with excitement. With thoughts running through my head and trying to figure out exactly what I would get for myself, I set out to the private lingerie boutique that had been suggested to me by my FIL. The saleswoman at this private boutique was most helpful. She was attentive, suggestive to purchases and very professional. She helped me select a black baby-doll with red lace woven through the edging of the cups. I remember her showing me how the lace untied and would allow the cup to open for exposure/access to the breast. That was cool, I thought. The front of the panels were fishnet and where free flowing that so that it would accommodate my growing baby bump. I picked up a pair of black fishnet stockings, a black garter and the FM Pumps that had been suggested to go with any stockings and garter.They were black patent leather and while I hoped that they would trip my husband's trigger, they were just shoes to me. They weren't practical and because money was so tight, I couldn't understand why someone would spend $50 on a pair of shoes that were only to be worn when I was flat on my back. I had a lot to learn, didn't I?
When it came time to check out and I dipped into my purse for the money, the saleswoman informed me that the bill had already been taken care of and when I just stood there looking at her, she said, "You can use the cash he gave you for other things for yourself." Do you know that standing there in my being stunned beyond belief - I never thought to ask myself how in the world did she know about my shopping trip, the cash he gave me or anything about me?
I decided to spend the cash for practical things that I needed like new panties and some bras. The prgnancy was helping me out in the chest size and the bras that I had just were not accomodating my growing breast.
The thoughts and fantasies that were speeding through my brain while driving home from that shopping trip had me giddy with expectations. Thinking about sex all day is enough to make anyone ready and willing but when you factor in second trimester pregnancy hormones - that makes for an 'over the edge' mix of nothing but pure lust and sexual greed. I intended to have my share of what I wanted. I was going to surprise my honey with the outfit because as far as I understood, he was not aware that I had been treated to this little shopping excursion. The thoughts of my FIL never entered my mind. The B&B were supposed to be out of town for the weekend and my husband and I would have the entire house to ourselves. That meant there wouldn't be any restrictions or limitations on how, when, where, or how often. The realization that I might be able to finally "get enough" made me short of breath (among other things) as I turned into the driveway.
I gathered my packages from the backseat and headed for the house. Once inside, I walked straight through the house to the tiny back bedroom where The Bouncer and I had been sleeping for the past few weeks. I paid careful attention as I sorted everything out on the bed. I remember the feelings of excitement and anticipation that I felt as I ceremoniously organized those lacy items on the bed. I couldn't wait to prepare myself for The Bouncer's arrival. I was formulating all the plans when I heard a voice at the door.
"Did you find something that you liked?" I heard the unexpected voice of my FIL as I whipped around to face him.
"You scared the crap out of me! How long have you been standing there?" I asked. I know he could hear the surprise and possible fear in my voice. Where the hell had he come from? I hadn't seen his car in the driveway when I got home.
"Long enough to enjoy watching you. What did you get?" he asked.
I'm cloudy on what happened next and in what sequence but I think that I pushed all the things against the pillows at the head of the bed to move them away from him. I may have said something to the effect of "just some stuff." I felt slimy all of a sudden but since I wasn't skilled or had ever been permitted to take head to that little voice - I didn't pay attention to the uh-oh feeling and just stood there. He stepped forward and reached for the shoe box that held the black patent leather stiletto pumps. I watched in horror (this I do remember) as he carefully lifted teh cover and picked each of them up as if he were examining a million dollar artifact or piece of jewelry and turned them over and around and ran his hand across the arch of the shoe. Then he looked and me and said as plain as day, "Will you model it for me?"