Am I coming back to blogging?
I found myself thinking more and more the past few weeks about posting but when I'd sit at the keyboard, I found it too uncomfortable to come up with words to share.
Where to start after so much time? What would I title the post? Update? That seemed too cheesy. Checking in? That sucked. Too much to think about, what to narrow down to share, questioning if I still had it in me to put my thoughts and emotions to words. It all seemed to challenging to accomplish in such a short time. The words didn't roll out of me like they used to. Raindrops wrote several years ago that my writing rolled like a mighty river - those days seem so far behind me. Sigh..........
Our trip to Maui and O'ahu was simply magical. Nine days in a Hawaiian paradise with no children, sleeping until your body awakens naturally, making love whenever the desire comes on, not worrying about someone knocking on the door or interrupting you, basking in the warm sun, feeling the cool water tickle your skin and the bed............oh. my. goodness. I can't recommend that bed at the Hyatt Maui enough. I consistenly fought the urge to just keep sweeping my limbs across the sheets just so I could feel how wonderful it felt.
I was frequently reminded (by my inner self) that I EARNED that trip - and it was important to soak it all in - as much as humanly possible. Capture those memories, commit it to my soul so that when I was back in reality - "Mommy! I'm hungry!" or "Kat just pooped on the carpet in the bathroom!" or "What are you doing in there making all that noise? Open this bedroom door now!"............sigh and giggle...........that I could instantly transport myself to the edge of that cliff where the water was 5 shades of blue and the breeze was tickling every inch of my naked skin and...........well - I have a phenomenal memory of that day. We took over 400 pictures and about 25 video clips. I've watched that slide show about 8 times in the past 2 days. Ah.....If I think about it deep enough - I can still feel that breeze on my skin.
I don't know if I want to take the time to come back to blogging but I sometimes hear it call my name. I hear the faint whispers that beckon me to get those thoughts into words on a screen and seek the dialogue of friends that seem too far away and some long gone. I shy at how vulnerable I anticipate that I'd need to be to put my thoughts and feelings out there. THAT is what I'm not sure I'm up for.
Am I coming back? I'm still not sure.
But it felt good to write today.