I thought about her all day yesterday for some reason. I mentioned her to my husband last night and said I was going to call her on Friday (today).
I love our friendship and I have such fond memories of how it began. I met her on a message board relating to birth. I was pregnant with J and lamenting about baby showers and never having had one (even though I was pregnant with my 3rd child) and she sent me a gift card from OldNavyBaby. I was so touched at her generosity and our friendship took root like an old oak. It was as if we had been friends forever and the relationship just deepened. As fate would have it - my son was born a few weeks later on her birthday and she has remembered him every year since then with a small (and sometimes large) gift.
I've been drawn to her because I've never felt the need to pretend to be something or someone that I'm not and from all appearances she likes me the way I am. She's listened with a gentle ear when I needed one. She isn't "needy" or selfish. She makes me laugh and laughs at my funnies and my silliness. We share similar mothers as well as similar past. She understands what it is like to have a son because she has twin boys. She offers me encouragement and allows me to return it. More importantly, she offers me truth and allows me to return that too. She can hold her own in a discussion. She makes me think. Sometimes I hate that we are so far away from one another and the phone/email is our main way of communicating. Perhaps this allows me to value what we have as opposed to taking it for granted. Even so, we can go a few weeks without talking and then spend an hour catching up and its just like we were never apart. I tell her I love her. I hope she knows it. She is the ONLY person who calls me honey that doesn't make my skin crawl - the only person.
I was going to call her today to tell her about my kitchen cabinets.
I couldn't sleep just now and got up to get on the computer. I checked my email. Now I know why she was on my mind.
Her father was killed in a motorcycle accident yesterday morning. The email came after I went to bed and was very short and didn't include any details. I realize there's no easy way to share news like that and it was probably all she could do to get words to the screen. I can't even begin to imagine the horror. Right now I feel helpless because I want to call her and offer words of love and support but its 2:30 am and if sleep did eventually come for her, even if just from sheer exhaustion, I wouldn't want to disturb it for her or her family. I can wait a few more hours. I'll begin my grieving process here and go tomorrow where I'm taken. I still hurt for her because I know what it was like for me to lose someone that I loved. I hate that I am so far away from her.
If you pray, and I hope you do, please lift my friend up. Pray for courage, strength and love. Pray that they will feel the support that those around them offer. Pray that she'll be in touch with her emotions and feelings when the time is right. Pray for peace. The days and months ahead of them will be rocky at best.
I love you honey and I'm sorry that your daddy died.